We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Dating a law enforcement officer

by Main page

about

The Police Wife Life: Selfish Is Not an Option

Click here: => tisoluter.darkandlight.ru?dt&keyword=dating+a+law+enforcement+officer&source=bandcamp.com_dt


Whereas, in the beginning, you would instantly call his cell to make sure he's alright, over time you learned that he won't answer if he's in the middle of something and calling only to get no answer will really leave you worried that he's hurt or in trouble. Articles like this help me and give me a blunt idea on how it will be. At lest that's what I am to believe by reading this article.

Now I am a LEO wife and continue to go through the same emotions as I pray for his safety everyday. Once again, Smith recommends he or she understand the officer and her job. I knew the man he use to be. I work the same hours sort of.

Law Enforcement Singles

Being the wife of a police officer is not for the weak, self centered, needy, clingy, insecure, or high maintenance type of woman. I remember him calling me for the first time on his lunch break from his patrol car. Being a police wife or LEO Law Enforcement Officer wife as we are known, is quite the interesting life. Police marriages fall victim to an extremely high divorce rate, and there is a good reason for that. Let me start off by saying, just as in all professions, there is good and bad in everything somewhere down the line. It is true that there are good cops who honor the badge and bad cops who don't. Those who uphold their duty as officers, and honor the badge, far outweigh those who do not. And those who do not should be held accountable for abusing their power, stripped of it, and punished accordingly. Just as in all professions, the good cops will tell you they have no appreciation or tolerance for those who misuse their power and in turn, contribute to the negative image many have of the police. It is difficult sometimes even talking to family or close friends about a life in law enforcement due to so many misconceptions of the true character of the majority of officers. Many times you are immediately brushed off by those who really aren't interested in hearing about it, because being married to a cop, people either love you or hate you. The fact remains, whether you love cops or hate cops, everyone dials 911 when they have an emergency, and if you are one who considers the police an enemy, you are still the first to expect them to be there to assist you. Regardless of your opinion of them, they will still be there in your time of need. The next time you're in trouble, call a crackhead. That being said, I, like so many other LEO wives, am married to a good cop. This is our story. Life as a LEO Wife The abnormalities of a LEO wife's day begin with the shift. We do not base our days on normal hours—our days coordinate with whatever shift our LEO is working. There is no such thing as a standard eight hour day in the life of a LEO, or a LEO wife. In an average week you will have several days where the end of his shift comes many hours after it ended. A simple traffic stop turns into a drug bust. Another officer calls for backup. There is a multiple vehicle collision, and they need more officers. A LEO wife learns to cook dinner for her family and keep a plate warm in the oven. In a LEO household dinner can be midnight or later, breakfast is at lunchtime, and lunchtime can be as late as 9:00 p. The times he will plan to come in for dinner are often thwarted for the same reasons. All that effort you put in marinating that steak, or fixing his favorite dessert, will most times go unnoticed. You will put your children to bed alone most nights while explaining that Daddy loves them. He's just out making sure we're all safe. You will sleep with one eye open, both ears focused on the sound of the garage door, and your cell phone on your pillow. Your children will learn to recognize the sound of the garage door opening at a very early age, and they too will sleep a little better after Daddy comes in and kisses their little cheeks. Navigating Holidays Holidays, special occasions, anniversaries, and birthdays are just days you must be prepared to work around. My LEO works lake patrol in the summer months. For us, there is no such thing as the Fourth of July, Memorial Day, or Labor Day. We will never be available for the family reunion or summer picnic on any of those three day weekends. If you want to take your children to see fireworks, be prepared to go alone because not only does he work all weekend: he is working mandatory overtime, 12-16 hour shifts. If he does have seniority, and he can actually get the holiday off, chances are he will sign up to work overtime, trying to get ahead just a little bit. After all, one may think you would get a little more money in the bank by walking around with a bull's eye on your back for a living, but for some reason, all that public service comes at one heck of a bargain. Date Nights and Romance Trying to have a date night is always interesting. You will wait longer to get a table where he can face the door. You will watch him scope out the lobby on the way in for anyone he has previously arrested, and you will not get through the meal without another officer calling his cell. You will be grateful if you can keep him awake after you get home, as chances are, you squeezed in date night after a shift anyway, and you will learn to not take it personally when even at your best, you cannot compete with his exhaustion. This is not a control issue by any means, and you will learn to recognize there is a very big difference between your husband being controlling by ordering you around and your LEO husband recognizing a situation in which he needs to protect you from those that recognize and hate him—and those he does not ever want to recognize you as his wife when he is not with you. I have to go by the city garage and hose out the back before I come home. I'm going to be late. Oh, and head's up. There's blood all over my shirt. I've got to run some traffic control before I can get home. Hey, did you know they have coconut now? And when you do have the chance to vent, be prepared to be hung up on, interrupted or only partially paid attention to, or heard over the noise of the radio, which never stops and is always heard first. When you accept that your needs will have to wait until the end of the shift, be prepared to have him snoring almost instantly as you begin to finally vent. Whereas, in the beginning, you would instantly call his cell to make sure he's alright, over time you learned that he won't answer if he's in the middle of something and calling only to get no answer will really leave you worried that he's hurt or in trouble. You will learn to remember that he is also fully aware he is on the nightly news and will call you as soon as he can. You will learn not to ask how his day was. He will share what he needs to, bottle up what he has to, and act like everything is fine when it isn't. You will know when it was a bad day without asking and you will be there if he chooses to share, but you will learn that not sharing does not mean not caring. It just means reliving it is not appealing before dinner, and some of the horrific images embedded in his mind he would love to find a way to forget. Life on Duty You will learn that a Police Officer lives his life on duty. Being the wife of a Police Officer means you must be as dedicated to his love of the job as he is. The first step toward that is realizing it is not a job to him. It is who he his. There is a reason Police Officers choose a profession with low pay, horrible hours, immense stress, non-existent holidays, and a huge potential for danger. It is because they are called to duty. They are compelled by a desire to help those in need, to make a difference: to protect and serve. Being the wife of a LEO means having a mutual respect and understanding of that fact and being willing to make the continual compromises and sacrifices to enable your LEO to be able to head off into the night in the best frame of mind he can possibly have. They Come First Being a LEO wife means putting your husband first, not out of a sense of duty or out of submission or control, but out of love and respect for all he faces each time he walks out the door. You will learn to understand that being frustrated is normal, but being resentful and angry is not an option. Things that are a huge deal to most wives such as holiday traditions, the perfect birthday party, the family photo shoot scheduled for weeks, a date night you spent a month looking forward to, the biggest football game of your son's high school senior year, your baby's first ballet recital—To a LEO wife, all of those things are considered something else she may end up dealing with alone. Worth sending your LEO out into danger knowing you are furious with him? A LEO wife will learn to hold her tongue, tell him she loves him, kiss him goodbye, and say a prayer that he comes home so she can yell at him later. Ee still want what we want, but we learn to see the bigger picture. The Kids My three-year -old son loves his Daddy. He idolizes his father and, even at only three years of age, he understands there is something about what Daddy does that makes it a big deal. When Daddy leaves for a shift my son must go to the driveway and wave good-bye as Daddy turns on his lights and pulls away. It is a ritual that our son came up with all on his own. My son can also instantly recognize the sound of the garage door and knows the difference between the sound of Daddy's engine and that of his teenage sisters. He will stop anything he is doing and run for the door when he knows Daddy is home. Nights that we spend alone we pray together that Daddy will help keep everyone safe and that he will come home soon. They say children can sense things and I absolutely believe he understands there is a reason it is a big deal when Daddy leaves and an even bigger deal when he returns. Selfishness Isn't an Option There are many many times I wish for a moment of selfish indulgence. Although, I cannot remember the last time I wished for something just for me. I wish for alone time, and snuggle time, and quiet moments of peace. I wish for certainty of safety and a guarantee of growing old together. I understand no one has that guarantee and most couples with children and careers and busy lives wish for the same things, but for me it seems so constantly unattainable. Oddly, you would think that the longer you have been married to a LEO, the easier it gets. For me at least, it seems to get more difficult in certain ways. The longer I am with him, the more I see, the more I know, and the more it makes me realize how real the dangers can be. Being supportive of sending your best friend out into danger each day is not always easy, but part of being a wife is supporting his dream. I knew from the moment I met him what I was signing up for. I wouldn't trade it for the world. My husband is a wonderful man with a work ethic like no other. He works day and night to support his family and protect his community. He has been called to this line of duty and I am one of those LEO wives who literally beams with pride when I see him in that uniform. He is an amazing father, a loving and supportive husband, and as hard as it is to find time for each other, we manage to make it work. He is my best friend and I cannot imagine a day without him in my life. There are many people out there that view cops as lazy, crooked, donut eating fools with a chip on their shoulders and pride swelling due to a gun-toting power trip. As stated above, there are bad people in every profession. There are also good people in every profession. For the good ones, consider and remember this: Police Officers live each day fully prepared to lay down their lives for any given stranger at any given moment. They spend countless hours away from their family to help protect yours. They will face those persons with nothing to gain when they themselves have everything to lose. They begin each shift knowing it could be their last, and they have the added stress of knowing their spouse and children are home waiting, hoping, and praying they never see the Captain at their front door. I love my LEO. The Line of Duty In 2010, 161 officers were killed in the line of duty. They died protecting and serving the citizens and non-citizens of this country. They died at the hands of repeat offenders, parolees, drunks, drug addicts, and political and religious radicals. They died helping innocent people change flat tires. They died responding to traffic accidents and domestic disputes. They were murdered in cold blood making routine traffic stops. They died doing what they were called to do, regardless of the circumstance. Be grateful for our Police Officers. An Important Note: Please feel free to share the link to this article as you choose, but do not copy and paste the content of this article. Since publishing this article, it has been viewed over 250,000 times, shared on Police Department web sites, LEO wife support sites, and various Police news and magazine sites. The positive support and feedback has been overwhelming and I would like to add this to simply acknowledge how wonderful it is to see so many LEO's, LEO wives, and family members of LEO's be able to relate to so many of the things written in this article. There has also been so much support from all over the US, and other countries, from people with no connection to any LEO in their families, thanking me for bringing awareness to what life as a LEO and a LEO wife entails. There has been extremely little negativity regarding this article, and I am actually very nicely surprised by that. Out of over 20,000 views and over 100 comments to date, I have received only three negative comments, which I did not post, only because I do not want this to become a forum for debate or argument or have anything distract from the purpose of this article. This is not a discussion board, and there is a time and place for debate. I want this article to be an uplifting voice of encouragement and positivity for LEO's and their families. I do wish to address one comment received, oddly enough, from a LEO wife. To that I would say, my article is about Police Officers. It is not about oil field workers, firefighters, EMT's, coal miners, loggers, construction workers or the countless others who are in harms way just by going to work each day. I have no reason to write a personal account about that which I do not know, just as I cannot speak for the countless wives and husbands of our Troops whose daily sacrifices far outweigh that of which the majority of us can comprehend, and to whom I could never express enough gratitude. My article is in honor of my husband and all the other LEO's who are heroes in their own right. Praising one does not equal the diminishing of others. I have never and would never think that what my husband does every day somehow makes what anyone else does less important or dangerous. There is no question that it takes a certain kind of person to be able to remain consistently patient, understanding, and selfless regardless of the circumstance. All of us fail at times, get frustrated at times, and need some encouragement to remain focused certainly me included. This article is is about being supportive and appreciative despite the multitude of upsets. It is about remembering to appreciate each day and never take it for granted. As stated before, I love my LEO! Your descriptions felt like you were speaking for me. Thank you for your openness and honesty. We are not alone. But facing a funeral tomorrow by myself is just more than I can bear he is working a detail - not an actual shift. And I have put off having kids because I truly do not want to do it alone. Your comment about the football game and ballet recital reinforced that for me. Although I am proud of what he does everyday, I guess it isn't for everyone and I do not think I'm cut out for it. Thanks so much for such a well written article. I am a LEO WIFE and ashamed of the woman I've become; disempowered, dependant and hopeless. I pray my daughters 3 of them never marry an adrenaline addicted workaholic, bully like their father. Society is better for the job he does, he is great at it, and we are worse for it. And if you question the legitimacy of my post my career is devoted to strengthening families, assisting people in addressing trauma, and teaching the value of healthy relationships: how embarrassing that I am unable to do this for myself and my own family. I'm glad that you feel this way about your husband and your family, but I am pretty confident I am not the only woman who feels as I have described. I am newly-engaged to a soon-to-be LEO. I will certainly carry this article and hold onto it for as long as possible as a gentle reminder of everything that may happen and how to handle it. Thank you and much thanks to your husband for allowing this type of conversation to even be had. Good to know we are all in this together. I don't think I tell or show my boyfriend who I hope to marry one day how much I appreciate him and what he does. He is so amazing and understanding and I can't believe I would ever get even the slightest bit irritated when he would cancel dates. Its so selfish on my part and this article helped me to realize how it shouldn't be taken personally. I know there is a learning curve for every LEO family and its nice to see that we are not alone, but I think I could be doing more to make his life just easier in any way I can.... He deserves all the love and respect that I can give :- THANK YOU!! I now have a deeper understanding of what I am getting into as an LEO girlfriend of almost 6 months. We started dating while he was in the academy; we met while I was in medical assisting school and his classroom was on the first floor, just below mine. We understand each other's schedules and we cherish our time together when we get it. Date nights are important, holidays are few and far between, especially since I'm in the medical field getting my Radiologic technologist credential and he's a cop. We're both in the first-responder field, which makes everything better; we just get each other. I read this article at the beginning of this year when my fiance and I started dating. I've recently got engaged to my fiance who is a police officer, and though there were many times I would think he was falling out of love, or simply didn't like me before we got engaged I found this article to be super useful! You have no idea how much you helped me understand how it is to be a LEO future wife! Honestly, if it wasn't for this article, I would be so lost since I have no friends that are in the same position as I am nor do they understand. Thank you so much!!!! My LEO is retiring at the end of the year. Last year there were multiple Veterano's killed in the Line of duty. Meanwhile worrying what he is going to post being a cop, He has been doing the job 27 years and 7 years in Jail as CO longer than his childhood. They should have a seminar at all academies for significant others regarding the future they fast being with a LEO's My hubby is an FTO he has had more than 1 trainee fail the program because of problems at home. The job is not competing for his time it is a fact of life for an Leo's wife , the sooner you figure it out the better for all around you. I have been married to a LEO for 22 years. He has been an LEO for 12 of those years. I knew the man he use to be. He has changed in many ways since becoming a LEO. I love him more now as I feel he needs me more than ever. We have had our tough times and it has not been easy being married to him at times but we have come out stronger because of our love for one another. We are the strength behind the badge! I am about to go on my first date with a police officer tomorrow and wanted to know from a woman's perspective; what it's really like, the whole deal. He's very sweet and has been divorced. I know that there is a lot of stigma regarding officers and their wives, so it's nice to get a real perspective. I myself am married to my job and would have much appreciation for a partner who is as well very dedicated. I am not in law enforcement, but have always had complaints from former partners about my long hours at work, dedication and constant calls away. To me it makes complete sense. So I am going to give the officer a date and see if it's a true match. I can only think that he would give me the same respect in return. Therefore, I would not have to constantly say sorry for missing yet another dinner date or have to explain myself it would be an understanding. At lest that's what I am to believe by reading this article. We'll leave the chemistry to the birds and the bees. I have a couple coming in tomorrow with some problems clearly related to his job as a police officer in San Francisco. I wanted to get some insight into her struggles, as well as his, before our session. This was very valuable for me as it is a very unique situation with the life threatening part hanging over in the ominous corner. I feel clearer having read this and that I can approach the session with more ideas how to ameliorate the rough edges and enhance the lovely ones. I know in Ohio it's the law for a wife of a police officer to not reveal personal info to anyone except a very few trusted people. Its a job that you cant really put into words; we have many similarities as a spouse but yet its very unique at the same time with the different dynamics that are in each home. One common theme for sure is we can't be selfish! This a job that is not for everyone, you have to be very strong, resilient, and understanding. I didn't choose this job as we were married for 10 years prior to this, however I did choose to support my husband no matter what, so its important to be there for them and encourage them as this is often a thankless job!!! As a LEO girlfriend planning on being wife, ive already experienced much of this..... Its nice to know whats in store down the line though! My daddy is a retired state trooper and my husband is going into the police academy in exactly one month. We have been together for over 4 years, known each other for 6, and been married for 3 months. When we began our relationship, being a LEO girlfriend, fiance, or wife wasn't in the cards because we were both going to college to be therapists, which we both are now. I am struggling with this change and it has been in the works for over a year. Frankly I am terrified. Articles like this help me and give me a blunt idea on how it will be. God bless you and your family! I back him 100%. Just in case he is needed. I hardly ever see him, he tries to get a meal break, and sometimes it may only be 10 minutes, because he gets a call. You have to be a very strong woman, and have to be able to accept the fact you will be alone a lot. This was a great read!!! And believe me, I truly cherish my sons wife, and the sacrifices she makes daily, and the lengths she goes to to raise my grandkids.... It takes a special person to be THAT, and I commend you. Sleepless nights is just part of it. Such truth in your words! I thought I was ready and could embrace the ride a second time. I remember reading this article when we first fell in love thinking, how amazing it was and just how much I wanted to have the honor of loving such a man. Today, I am scared out of my mind. I'm always thinking he will be called to leave again suddenly and it haunts me. Our lives are spent mostly apart and I want so badly to find that strength I once had to love him, be patient with him and make us work. What I find challenging is living my own life and that's because I'm such a homebody. I give myself too much time to think about him and it makes me miss him crazy. I don't want to sit around like this. I'd love to know how you manage through those in between times if you don't mind sharing, thanks. Happy New Year's everyone. I am a sister and daughter of 4 LEO's. I really don't think people understand the stress and loneliness of of the LEO's wife. My mom and only 1 sister-in-law have been able to endure the test of time. These are some tough times we are living in right now. I applaud you for sharing your thoughts and a window into your life so that many others wont feel alone. God bless you and may He also keep all of our LEO's safe. They are the good guys! They go through so much that most people never consider. My uncle was a Sheriff in Texas and my step dad was a Sheriff's Deputy in Colorado. I wrote a series about Sheriff Derrick Decker. I still believe they're the good guys! I wish people could quit making them the enemy! The part about the holidays really touched me. We were either up doing Christmas before my step dad went to work, or we had to wait until he got off work. There's a lot people don't consider when they pick up their phone and dial 911. There's a lot they don't consider when they turn around and trash them for how they handled the situation the next day. These guys are lucky to have your love! The other day he took my phone from me and went straight to google to pull this story up. We have been together for almost 5 months, very serious. He is in the middle of the hiring process right now. He said 'Here, read this, it's so true and I want you to know what you're getting yourself into. I did read this and it does seem scary at times but I'm here to support him and he is here to support me, we aren't here to run away when things scare us. I'm preparing myself for this journey and when it gets hard at times, I will turn to your story for assurance that he is still by my side, he just has work to do. I have found that being a child of a LEO has helped me in so many ways in understanding what my husbands job is all about and what it in tales. I also try to ride along with my husband to remind myself what the job is like for him, what he has to deal with on a daily basis, the people he encounters, the disrespect he faces regularly, and the danger he elects to put himself into for other peoples problems and safety. Not including the wear it puts on his mind and body working all night and the daily threats on his life and to his family lives he receives when he arrests someone who clearly deserves it. My husband is a very loyal and fair LEO and wears his badge with bride, which he should! Our children were raised in a home where they learned the value of the risk that these men and women put themselves into whenever they start a shift. And were taught, if your friend has a problem with your dad's job then are they really the type of person you should be hanging around with? It's his job just like their dad has a job, except theirs are risking their lives so their dad can sleep easy at night. Yes, we have had the phone call where my husband was injured, which no wife or husband wants to receive. You worry every time they walk out the door for their shift if that's the day or night the police Chaplin will be ringing your door bell. It can be a scary hectic life at times, but the honor I feel to be married to such an amazing man, that chose a position in Law Enforcement to protect and serve total strangers shows the type of character he has and what he is made of. I feel truly blessed. I wish I could give you a big hug! September will be one year he's been a LEO and boy has it been a ride! I will forever save this and read it when times get tough. I esp like the way you added how our LEO doesn't speak of what he has seen and how he prays its never his family. How we pray there's never a knock on our door in the middle of the night. I have been married to my LEO for almost 10 years. We have 2 small children and he was just promoted to detective. I will be honest it is awhole other ball game now that he is a detective. But I can happily say it doesn't strain our marriage. Some days are hard but as a LEO wife you learn to adapt and just go with it. He Is very passionate about his job and I would never hold that against him. I've lived the life growing up as a child, as a wife, a sister and now mother to three. I m still married to RLEO. My parents are still together and so is my brother and his wife. Our boys have cell phone and now 12 hour shifts so they have more time with family and more communication. There s hope and now cell phones! I'll pray for yours if you pray for mine! I have been married to my LEO for two years now, and you have brought so much to me that I have been struggling with as being a LEO wife. The light bulb has been turned on now and I thank you so much for this!! I LOVE my LEO and have always respected him, but now thanks to you I love an respect him even more!! I will be marrying my fiancé in a few months and I have to say that I have read this article several times. Usually when I feel like no one understands the loneliness, strength and flexibility that I feel a police wife experiences. I love my officer. He has the biggest heart and is great at what he does but I sometimes feel like its just the two of us. We have many people in our life, but very very very few that understand what a police family is. I wish people could understand the sacrifices we make. I'm sick of people thinking we are always together because they forget that we have long stretches without seeing each other. I can't wait to marry him and start our own life. I wish for more support but have realized that whether or not others support us we'll always support each other and make it work. It's not always easy but I wouldn't change it for the world. We've been together almost 5 years. I loved your article because it is so true. We don't have children, but one day plan to. It's hard when he gets called out to serve a warrant or heading to a domestic, but I pray for his safe return and anxiously wait for him to call or text me when he finishes a dangerous situation. Everyone on his team has my phone number and know to call me no matter how complicated the matter is if he's ever hurt. It is truly a life that isn't made for everyone, but I could never ask him to give up what he loves. I patiently wait for phone calls, handle the extra duty, the overtime, and understand that we don't get to share every holiday. His job isn't easy, so I stand by him so that he knows he has support. Thank you for your article. It speaks volumes for what they go through as well as us. He told me shortly after we started dating that he had always wanted to be an officer. His father died when he was 14 and had had his run ins with the police his fair share of times. His reason for wanting to be one of these men was because every time they arrested his dad or showed up at the house for whatever reason, they always treated him as a young boy with respect and never handcuffed his dad in front of him. The day his father drowned in the Missouri River, the officers and deputies that ran the search and responded to the scene made him feel safe, even though he knew his father wasn't coming home and he was now the man of the house he never faltered. So after telling me he wanted to be a police officer, we talked about it, the benefits, the hardships, the good and the bad. Having previously been married to a Marine although never deployed I understood the complications that came with your husband being a servant to his country and community. We mutually decided that he should go the academy and see where it took him. He asked if I was okay with this. You are my lover and my best friend and I would never stand in the way of you following your dreams. I truly believe that you are meant to be an officer of the law and that you will one day accomplish that dream. One that we have chosen to live through together. It took nearly a year after graduating and being flat broke living with my parents and finding out we were pregnant, again, for him to finally get on with a department. He loves his job. He lives and breathes his job. And every night when he walks through the door I breathe a sigh of relief. This morning he told me how much he appreciates everything I do for him. I don't do anything different than an ordinary house wife would do for her husband, except our evening coffee is at midnight, and his dinner has to be microwaved. Our kids are in bed when he comes home and the one hour he gets with them in the morning really saddens him, he is the definition of strength. He has seen struggle, death, poverty, selfishness, stupidity, anger, and assault but he still loves the Lord and his family. I love my LEO. It really shed some light as to what is going on. I recently starting dating a NYC police officer and it has been so hard. At times I want to walk away but he is so amazing, literally everything I want in a mate. At least this give me an insider's view as to what to expect life to be like. It was very well written. Pretty awesome spouse perspective. Of course that's because I'm a nurse here's your chance for laughing! I work the same hours sort of. Her's are 6-6 rotating AM and PM, which honestly has got to SUCK!!!! Are you are so right about Holidays and weekends I've been on weekend-only-worker contract for the last year and a half. GREAT for the routine schedule. SUCKS for working when everyone else is off, but works for school. My husband recently finished police academy and is in the process of filling out dozens of personal history statements, taking tests, going through oral boards, etc. While he's in the Army Reserve and we've been through a deployment returned just over a year ago , I wasn't sure what to expect with him being a police officer. I want to thank you for writing this, it's given me a much better understanding of what my life will hopefully be like very soon. It seems too little to say thank you, and too much to be able to express my gratitude for you, your husband and family, my son, his wife, their new baby and the brotherhood of police officers and police families all over the world. Thank you and bless all of you. My husband and I had been married for five years before he made the ultimate life change career decision. I have been supporting his decision every single step of the way. I have birth to our second daughter while he was away at the academy. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's a daily struggle to find our alone time with now three beautiful daughters. But we too like so many other family's make this life work for us. I am so glad I am not alone with these feeling so greatly expressed in this article. I am a wife to a rookie cop and I am having a very hard time adjusting to the lifestyle. My biggest worries were the late night hours, raising our 8 month old daughter mostly by myself with the help of my family since we are living with them to save money and the dangers of stepping out into the streets daily. I was never one of those high maintenance chicks who needed attention all the time but when my husband entered police academy I felt left in the dust, alone and distant. Reading this article I realized that this job requires more support than I knew. Selfishness needs to be forgotten and I am basically building a new life around my husbands career. We all make sacrifices but in the end we all need to look at the bigger picture. As much as I love the small things a relationship brings, I would give them all up just to have my husband come home to his family safe every night. Thank you for putting my mind and heart at ease and for allowing me to widen my perspective on how to adapt to the LEO lifestyle. It is all the same. I moved in with him because of his crazy hours. If I would not have, I would probably still be sitting there waiting for a date. I knew what I was getting into when I met him. I told him I am always going to be there for him. He really needed that support. I may not be married to him yet, but most of this story is us exactly. I had him read it so we both have the same understanding. As we do not have children in common, most of the time I spend the day or night eating alone. He was expected to get off at 5pm. He told me things are crazy and getting worst around there. He said I may not expect him until late tonight. I will probably be in bed already when he gets home. I work a regular job with set hours. I just have to take it like it is and grin and bare it. I just treasure the time we do spend together. My boyfriend has been talking about becoming a police officer for a while now and I can only seem to focus on the negatives-- The chances that something could happen to him and that our marriage, if and when that happens, might fall. But you've made me see that there's positives too. I will support him in whatever choice he makes, if being an officer is what he truly wants to do because I love him more than anything else. But I know I will be the wife who hopes and prays every day that her husband comes home without a scratch. But I think I can do my best to be the best wife to him while he's doing the community good. That's all I can really promise, right? Anyway I just wanted to thank you for writing this article. It made me see that it's not all bad being the wife of an officer. This instantly caused me to send him a message apologizing and reminding him that I love him. He works in a horrible area and I have such a bad habit of forgetting the fact that there is a chance I may not see him tomorrow each time he leaves for work. I am human, but this is one of my greatest faults and something I am going to continue to be mindful of. I began dating him two years ago--about 3 months after he became a LEO. I certainly did not know what I was getting myself into. After reading your article, my eyes have been peeled WIDE open! I have struggled with and resented many of the things that come along with his job, and was channeling it all in THE WRONG ways starting arguments before a shift, getting frustrated with him over my having to sleep alone every night, not spending enough time with him, missed holidays, etc. I sound like a complete spoiled snot who wants their man all to themselves--well who doesn't want that anyway.. I realize that I have a lot of work to do in this department and am willing to do so. I want to thank you for putting it all into perspective and giving me a realistic view of what's to come if it has not happened already. I am with a wonderful man whom I would love to spend the rest of my life with; I realize that I have some lots of work to do in regards to accepting the profession he has chosen. I admire how you have been able to develop the will power to be a supportive, understanding POW and will be using you as a role model for my relationship moving forward : thank you. Please continue to post your words of wisdom and encouragement--they are much needed by many of us! I've been with my fiancee who is a LEO here in Europe for 2 years now and we will get married in September. I know it will not be an easy life at his side, since the time we've moved together there have been many many lonely evenings, cold dinners and fears... The fact that I work as a medical doctor doesn't make it easier at all, because both of us work many hours and have long shifts.. Knowing that I am not alone with my hopes, prayers and fears, that there are cop's wives all over the world who feel the same is a great support. Thank you for sharing it! He started the academy after we had been together a year. We got engaged when he graduated patrol school and began patrolling. I've been there from the beginning and I knew what I was getting into. Like everyone has said, it is frustrating but its their call and its our call to be by their sides and support them. Thank you for writing this and giving a voice and some light to what LEOs do. I love this article so much I had to share the link on Facebook and go like your page. I am currently in the process of being hired on with a local agency, which is the reason why i was looking all over the internet for information regarding how it affects families. I base all my decisions on how it would affect my family as a unit and how it would affect each individual within that unit. I love to provide for my family, i love to protect them, I love the benefits of being a LEO, i love the concept, but I dont love the fact that I have to be away from my family. It broke my hear to hear my lil ones tell me that they did not want me to die. I am always with them, we do everything together, minus my BJJ and Crossfit training which i do at home , i get to see them run around and laugh and enjoy or life together. I am truly torn at this point on what to do, i dont mind the fact that it will take its toll on me, which i am fully aware of, but i dont like the fact that it might affect my kids and my wife. I love them all dearly and I was happy to see this post, it made things clear, it was nice to see a post with true and utter honesty. I am thankful that I found this and that you posted, well said. It's starting to scare the hell out of me. I've always supported his desire to do this job, but now that it's getting closer, and we seem to be planning our future more and more everyday, I'm becoming very stressed about what his career might mean, in terms of romance, time, and children and I got some great insight. So never mind what the negative comments said about this article. I came out looking for something like this, and it was the first one I clicked on and I really appreciate you giving the cold hard truth. I made a terrible mistake and cheated on her. When she found out she filed for divorce and refused to even talk to me. About 3 days after you cast my spell she began talking to me and over a short period of time she began to forgive me. Everything happened just as you said it would and now we are back together and closer than ever before. Thank you for getting Wendy to forgive me for the terrible thing I had done. I remember all the times the phone would ring at odd times when I was growing up, and how I immediately would worry aboout my father. I would just pray that he was OK! Now I am a LEO wife and continue to go through the same emotions as I pray for his safety everyday. I beg him to come home safe from work. I remind him all the time how badly I need him in my life and the children even more so need him in their lives. Being a LEO daughter and wife is a challenging position to say the least! I love and respect them both for doing a job I could not do. This article was very well written. Thank you for sharing it. I have been married to my LEO for 23 years in April. We have had good times and bad. Ups and downs but now that we are empty nesters we are closer than ever. He counts the days until he can retire so he can do the things he loves; huntung, fishing, etc. I count the days until I don't have to worry about him so much. I wish I would have stumbled across this page sooner. God Bless all of your LEOs! It is nice to see someone put this into words. It is interesting how others view law enforcement proffessions. I do think some wives do it for the glory of being married to a leo, however if they really thought about it... It is a thankless profession and being a leo wife is also thankless. I hope that your children end up being well rounded and good... For those wives who have hung in there, congratulations. For those wives who haven't.... Also, I am an exwife and now an officer myself. I have been fortunate enough to see it from both sides. If there is any officer out there reading this, support these spouses... Love them and take care of them. And for the spouses, continue to support their crazy dreams. It will be worth it in the end and there will never be regrets. We had already been together 4 years and married while he was in the academy and I wholeheartedly supported him going in and thought I had up till a few months ago. This spoke volumes to our lives and put into perspective the feelings I have had the past few months as we went through a lot of changes. I can only hope I have gotten over my momentary selflish phase and that I am completely there for him again like I once was. I will be sharing this with other friends and I thank you so so much for your truthful words. I feel very bad for Angela, does your department have a wives group? If not, start one. I started one with a GF almost 9 years ago, we support the Offficers with many things, but more importantly, we take care of each other. Only another Police wife can understand what your life entails. There is strength in numbers. We laugh about the chaos of life, we don't bash the PD or gossip about officers. I love my Wife friends very much, they truly are my best friends. Good luck to you and I hope you find support, this article should have made you laugh, Mel did an amazing job detailing a very normal life for us.... Follow the link to my Facebook page The Police Wife Life. Also, Wives Behind the Badge. The National Police Wives Assoc. All excellent places for that very kind of support. You are not alone in this and it doesn't have to be depressing. There's a world out there just like you. I do not know if I can or want to put my own feelings and needs to the side. I do not know if I can paste a smile on my face when I am painfully lonely, when our daughter tells me that she doesn't really need a daddy anymore, when people assume I am a single working mother. Sometimes, it is just too much, and I wish there was more support for that aspect of this life. I believe this will help me be a better partner for him. Been married to a leo for 20 yrs now,and it does get harder!! He's an undercover narcotics officer and we have beenput through so much of what u wrote about and more!! I can't count the times I have been told to get the kids and get to the car!! Oh,and I totally understand ur comment on the uniform,a lot of women think of it for all the wrong reasons... I just started dating a cop who has been a long time buddy of mine. Hes been on the job a couple of years but we have only starting getting close. I've never even considered dating a law enforcement officer before and I was one of those guilty of negative stereotypes about cops. It was very informative and even though your article is at times scary I feel its better to be prepared for the challenges ahead if we decide to get serious which is looking likely. Thanks again for your wise words it helped make things clearer to me. I admire all the LEO wives and significant others for all the sacrifices you make for your LEO, their job, and your communities. I am a police officer,s wife! And I've cried thru the entire article, you touched every single point that I've in 17 yrs of marriage crossed,,, some great some not to good but it all comes in the package! Nicely written,,, and love the part where it says, hate cops? Next time you are in trouble call a crackhead priceless i totally agree,,, Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages ® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others. This website uses cookies As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, soapboxie. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so. For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: Show Details Necessary HubPages Device ID This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. Login This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. Akismet This is used to detect comment spam. HubPages Google Analytics This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. HubPages Traffic Pixel This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. Amazon Web Services This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. Cloudflare This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. Google Hosted Libraries Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis. Features Google Custom Search This is feature allows you to search the site. Google Maps Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. Google Charts This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. Google AdSense Host API This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. Google YouTube Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. Vimeo Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. Paypal This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. Facebook Login You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. Maven This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. Marketing Google AdSense This is an ad network. Google DoubleClick Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. Index Exchange This is an ad network. Sovrn This is an ad network. Facebook Ads This is an ad network. Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace This is an ad network. AppNexus This is an ad network. Openx This is an ad network. Rubicon Project This is an ad network. TripleLift This is an ad network. Say Media We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. Remarketing Pixels We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. Conversion Tracking Pixels We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. Statistics Author Google Analytics This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. Comscore ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. Amazon Tracking Pixel Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products.

That can be hard for a partner to handle. I remember reading this article when we first prime in love thinking, how amazing it dating a law enforcement officer and just how much I wanted to have the honor of loving such a man. Thank you and much thanks to your husband for allowing this type of conversation to even be had. I patiently wait for phone calls, handle the u duty, the overtime, and understand that we don't get to share every holiday. We'll leave the chemistry to the birds and the bees. Check your level of independence. September will be one year he's been a LEO and boy has it been a ride. We try and get to the pub on a Met night to give me a break from cooking and socialize with the townfolk a little. Meanwhile worrying what he is going to post being a cop, He has been doing the job 27 years and 7 years in Jail as CO longer than his childhood. Comscore ComScore is a limbo measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers.

credits

released November 30, 2018

tags